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my glasses have broken

and I am creamed.

I have no chance of getting my glasses fixed tomorrow.

My eyes hurt from having to use my sunglasses to see anything.

I don't often do this ...

I don't know if anyone was intending on getting me anything for my birthday, or if they wanted ideas, but can I be cheeky?

I'm kinda reading up on books a lot like the one I'm trying to write. So far all I've found are books with elements of what I'm writing. If anyone's stuck for ideas, the books I'm looking at atm are:

'Boy Meets Boy' by David Levithan
'Lock and Key' by Sarah Dessen
'The Truth About Forever' by Sarah Dessen
'Someone like you' by Sarah Dessen
'Diary of a crush' by Sarra Manning (is three books, french kiss, kiss and make up, sealed with a kiss')
Kate Brian's series on easton academy (I have private, but there are more)

... I may add to this list. The full one is in my phone notes, and my phone's in my room. I am not.

Sorry to be so cheeky! I won't be mad if you ignore this post, lol

My cold went yesterday. And it snowed. So we bundled Noah up and I felt spritely enough (tea + toast + lack of cold) to go out into the garden with him. I will post pics at a later date (but not too late) but not atm because they're on my mobile, and my phone does not get along with my computer.

So we went to his nursery. I was given a huge folder full of paperwork (okay, one of those paper fold over ones, but quite a stack of information resided inside! All permission form requests for outings/pictures/medicine dispension) and we talked about Noah while he played, and his friend from church came up to the door separating the baby room and the 2-3 year old room (Dylan's about a year and 4 weeks older than Noah) so Noah said hello to him. Sort of. He kind of ignored me the hour we were there.Talked on the phone with the main worker in the baby room a heck of a lot though. Stole one little girl's dummy after she woke up from her nap. Left quite the impression ;)

Anyway, then the whole illness thing caught up with me and I flopped on the sofa at home the rest of the night.

And then we did it all again today (minus snow fun) - Noah was meant to have half hour with me in the room, then half hour on his own, but as soon as we get in the building he runs to the baby room and as soon as he's in there he's playing with one of those toy TVs where you wind it up and a paper rolls behind a fake screen? And his key worker starts to show him how to use it and suddenly mummy doesn't matter any more (thanks hun, my stomach muscles that're wrecked from your 9 month sentence are really appreciative) so he spent his entire hour in there.

I think he might start missing us on Thursday though. Well half of me hopes.

The other half is kinda looking forward to the chance to visit a cinema.

The other half doesn't know how I'll get through that first day.

Bah, nursery is weird. But it's what we need. Sigh sigh sigh.

I haven't written in this in 2 weeks.

Usually I'm here every few days.

To be honest, I haven't posted because I'd just complain about how sick I feel and say how this is the second day I've got dressed since Christmas Eve. The first day in over a week.

But I'm sick of complaining, and of being ill, so the positives?

-Noah has learnt to clean up. He has to empty a tissue box/his wipes first, but he will mop up spills. That he's usually made with his bottles (don't think he's so into them now). But you can't have everything.

-With some of those tissues, he will blow his nose. That is to say, he holds it to his nose, and blows with his mouth. But it's still so gosh dern cute.

-If I go 'mmmmmmwaaaaaaaaaah!' he will put his forehead forward to recieve a kiss. And come back for more.

-He got bought a sensory ball for Christmas by the health visitor we go to chruch with/I've known since I was in nappies. And he's learnt to play football and bounce it.

-He also got mega bloks from Tom and will stack them. Unlike his duplo, which he will only destroy your creations. One step at a time ...

-His most annoying toy was from Crystal. It's a spiderman that sings the spiderman tune and ... itsy bitsy spider. Although it has a cool dance to go with it.

-I've managed, in my recovery time, to write more fic. I have now completed 21 chapters last count, have 3 more unfinished. I will write the next one due soon, that is, Catty and Jam, if you're still with me on it? It's not jumping about too much or owt, is it? Or that crap? IDK, I don't have much confidence atm.

I've felt rubbish all day.

The little things have bugged me.

I hope tomorrow I'm happier.

And I bet you do too, right?

Just because I'm the grumpiest bitch ever when I get like this.

Today, he took Bryn's hand, and dragged him off the computer, and over to the stairgate, then banged it until Bryn opened the gate (he was banging for a while).

We bought him a storage crate that doubles as a bench, and my stepdaddy put it up last night. So today he uses it as a stairwell to get on the sofa and use my legs as a slide.

He's been opening the cupboards and taking out biscuits from the tin in the cupboard (and yesterday, gave mum the miso-soup packet saying 'ta' ... don't think he'd actually enjoy miso soup!).

Oh, and he's seen me dunking biscuits in my tea, and today he had a custard cream, and insisted on dunking it in my tea, and mums. And then dropped it and speared it with a nail file. So we threw it, and when I was in the loo and mum's back was turned, he rifled threw the bin and ate it (disgusting child! He's obsessed with that bin ...)

Oh and I looked around wilkinsons at the toys today, and he liked what I showed him so much he had a fit when I put it back on the shelf. So now he is the proud owner of a Mr Tickle book.

That boy is so spoilt. And inventive, lol.

So I'm ripping you off, lol! (P.S. Think I accidentally nicked your stylus?)

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING.
1. Give me the song and I’ll sing it like I mean it
2. Where have you been all of my life
3. Well this is the sound of the train out of New Orleans
4. The nightmare’s not over
5. Well I never thought that it’d be so simple
6. Here I am again, talking to myself, sitting at a red light
7. Hey batter-batter, hey batter-batter swing, I got to just do my thing
8. I’ve been here before a few times, and I’m quite aware we’re dying
9. Are you aware of how much you complicate me
10. Sit tight I’m going to need you to keep time, come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me Panic! At the disco - The only difference between matyrdom and suicide is press coverage
11. Yeah, I’m on the verge of something good
12. Together, together, together, everyone
13. Alright, here we go, one time for your mind, your body and your soul, everytime that I rhyme you know I’m in control
14. She walks down to the store today Good Charlotte, Walk by
15. Well they encourage your complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile My Chemical Romance, Blood
16. Oh my God, how times have changed, these girls must be blind or completey deranged
17. Wait until it fades to black, run into the sunset, would I lie to you My Chemical Romance, Hang 'em high
18. When you’re weary, when you’re down and out, lay your hands on me a1, Make It Good
19. This letter explains everything, the content of it is the truth
20. Everybody’s always talking at me, everybody’s trying to get in my head

Your Name:
siobhán means perfection. the ultimate in all qualities!gorgeous, sweet, loving, caring, completely wonderful.
"you can't be siobhán! you're not perfect!"
Or
To be cool, calm and collected.
To be a woman of intelleguallity.
To be so very janga.
To be the greatest friend there is.
To be teh highest apple anyone can ever wish for.
To be a very beautiful person: gorgeous looks and amazing personality.
Siobhán is my friend. I'm the lucky one.

How old are you?
The greatest number of all time.

Reasons why: It is...

1. a prime number, as are 2 and 3.
2. Michael Jordan's number.
3. the NBA record for most consecutive points scored by a single player in a game, done by none other than Michael Jordan.
4. the number of chromosomes in a human sperm or egg.
5. the angle between the earth's magnetic and rotational axis.
6. the Tropic of Cancer at 23 degrees N Latitude.
7. the Tropic of Capricorn at 23 degrees S Latitude.
8. a .com and the page is very cryptic.
9. the most quoted Psalm in the bible ("The Lord is my shepherd..."
10. the number of people executed in "A Tale of Two Cities"
11. the smallest number of people for which there is at least a 50% chance that two will share the same birthday.
12. the standard TCP/IP port for Telnet.
13. one of the "Lost" numbers on the television show....also the sum of two of the other numbers (8 & 15)and the solution to 42-15-4=23, all of which are also Lost numbers.
14. the number of times Caesar was stabbed in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.
15. has been prominently featured in the following: Serendipity, Futurama, Star Wars A New Hope, Monty Python The Life of Brian, Seinfeld, The Big Lebowski, The Matrix Reloaded, and Die Hard III among MANY MANY other movies.
16. the number of flavors Dr. Pepper claims to be a blend of.
17. the number of distinct orientations of Tetris pieces.
18. the sum of U2, the greatest band ever. U is the 21st letter of the alphabet.
19. the number of letters in the latin alphabet.
20. the number of the Illuminati.
21. the letter W in the english alphabet, a letter with 2 points down and 3 points up.
22. the smallest number of integer sided boxes that tile a box such that no two boxes share a common length.
23. the only US president to serve between nonconsecutive terms of another president (23rd president Benjamin Harrison serving between Grover Cleveland's terms).


One of your friends:
She's a very nice person. And will one day marry jonny depp, (but must share him with her friends carys and anwen) Bethan's favourite food is chocolate, she likes it hot, cold whatever, one day i even heard her saying she took a bath in it! (NOT) If you don't know a bethan, you definately should!
let's make a monument to commemrate our friend bethan, obviously it should be made out of chocolate!



What should you be doing?
Making sure at all times your kids are successfully beaten.
"I once had magical powers, and I wished that my house was larger and considered cooking the television, later I did parenting."



Favourite food:
A favorable turn of events. A unexpectedly fortunate outcome. Pennies from Heaven.
Check out this hot pot. I had just gotten evicted and only had a dollar in my pocket, bought a lotto ticket and won!


Hometown:
Basildon is a town in Essex,

it is widley known as "chav town" as this is where most of the chavs hang around. Basildon has the hightest rate of teeenage pregnacys in the whole of the UK and, not supprisingly, Also has the highest rate or S.T.D's,

However basildon is not ALL bad, there is a small section (st martins square) where the anti-chavs go, all the alternative people, emo, skater, goth, grunge, hardcore and punk population.

Basildon is Located next to billericay and Laindon
A: you going basildon ?
B: screw that, ill get pregnat or beaten by chavs
A: Not a the square you wont.



Last person you talked to on the phone:
A word americans don't know how to spell

Also townies use the phrase 'your mum' as an insult
me: fuck off
Townie: your mum

or
A term that equals mom in british.
Ron Weasley: But mum!

Or
keeping quiet
"mums the word" "keeping mum"

.... okay following points: 1 – I wish I had made my name up! Ego boost! 2 – Almost true about Basildon, except it’s complete posers around St Martins. I’d only go there if I want chavs-in-black to beat me down with the skateboards they can’t ride. And 3 – if me and Chloe say ‘your mum’, does that mean we’re townies?

[p.////////////////////////////////////////l/9990000000q












m,khe's pj-=uj=s'#;';

as I was saying, before he felt the need to add - he's muffed up my explorer, It's all webpage and no icon bars! How'd he do that?

I'm tired.

Had my first shift, 4-12.

So tiring. My feet are blistered, I think my shoes were too small because a nail's broken. I was half-running the front earlier. It felt good though.

I'm good tired.

I wouldn't be online atm either, but I had to vote for Noah before bed, lol!

Take care everyone!

I opened my wine from when I had Noah before we went away.

I just finished it.

It's been open a little while sans refridgeration.

I think it went off. I feel bleurgh!!!

Might be the edam though ...




I will update properly sometime, when I feel less crap. And I thought I was so boho having wine with cheese and crackers, lol!

Quick update, yah?

-My back hurrrrrrrts. Lots. I have a tens machine. I either can't feel it working, or it hurts. Whoops. Might be because it's not put where my major backspazz is. Mum's blaming my big boobs (mmmkayyahthanks). They gonnaget bigger. I wanna cwy.

-I've had two 'labour scares'. Seriously. The other tuesday, I woke up and my back was hurting like crazy and my stomach clenching up and I tried with hot bags and stuff to stop it hurting but it didn't work. So I got mum up. She made me watch timeteam at 6am. I threw up a few times. Then slept. I bet mamma loves me! The second time wasn't so bad, I didn't puke and had my tens. Those pads are icky though. My midwife thinks that I'll actually go into labour before Wednesday, but if not then when I do see her on Wednesday, she'll arrange to come to my house, give me an internal *yaaaaay, Lorraine fingers in my doodah!!!* and try to 'induce me naturally'. As apposed to using the drug-and-hook method. I believe the alternative is called 'sex and a curry' so now I'm quite worried about my midwife. Gawd I hope she just means a curry ...

-I'm sleeping loads more. Except at night, when most people do. Make your play and Glitterball are so dull, I keep watching to make me fall asleep. Don't work.

-Bourne Ultimatum is a good film. From what we could make out anyway. Empire forgot the sound. At first you're in Moscow so don't think you'd understand the Russians anyway so the sound being off just made us think they were being all arty and everyone was like 'wooooow' but then it cut to this boardroom and you couldn't hear the convo. Cue half the cinema feeling like dicks and the rest complaining. Didn't get no refund or the film restarted though. Guh. I wasn't comfortable in that screen either. I gots a cushion for sitting on/breastfeeding with/teaching baby to sit up/sleep on with the bump but it didn't fit properly into my seat. Muh.

-I feel so bad. I've got like, 3 Christmas presents from last year to send still, plus about 5/6 birthday cards and presents. I keep meaning to send it all, but forgetting. I am so bad ... I will send them soon, I promise!

-I keep getting texts I don't reply to. I'm sorry. I mean to, but for some reason texting feels like a huge effort right now. If I do reply, it'll probably take me a few days/weeks. Everything feels like a huge effort right now. Which my mum says is a sign labour's close, so maybe I won't have to worry about Lorraine, huh?

Seriously, I hate this. I feel so ROUGH all the time. The only time I don't is when he starts shifting because it makes me giggle. But I feel so run down, and not just because of the anaemia. Although I am scared that soon I'll qualify for bum-injections. Plus, I wanna meet the little guy already, you know?

Of course, I would feel like this now my mum's warned me that this week's crucial. Apparently, their lungs don't function much until they're 33 weeks. So if a baby's born 24-33 weeks, there's an injection midwives and nurses can give the baby to help them develop lung capacity. Improves survival. Obviously. But 33-35 weeks, the baby starts to do that on their own. Means midwives and nurses have to guess amounts and it's easy to screw up. After 35 weeks he'd be premature but able to breathe. I want him out the week it could screw up the breathing, nice ... actually, I don't think they're related, but it makes me feel guilty. Seven weeks left of pregnancy .... and it's really starting to hurt. I gave up work at the right time, if I wasn't on holiday I'd've gone nuts. It was hard enough the last three weeks when I just slept every moment I wasn't working. I do miss the people I work with though ... soooooo much. I'll see Alex and maybe some others on Thursday though, for Harry Potter, but it's just not the same.

I'm going to do some antenatal exercises now, then go sleep. Mmmmmm, sleep!

I should have something interesting to say.

I don't think I do.

Might be getting training squad status. Two weeks before I leave.

Bargained with my dentist to do temporary work until the baby's born.

Still can't eat or drink much.

Am knackered. Am more anaemic than before despite taking iron pills. Now have to take with orange juice, not water. Bleh. Hurts my tongue.

... I was talking to mum about having a baby shower. I'd want it after the birth, because there'd be no point dragging most people over to Shitsea without the promise of holding the baby. I've got a list of 56 people, not including my siblings. And I know I've forgotten people I'd want there.

My house isn't big enough for 56 people on top of the family. Think my parents would rent a hall for their first grandchild?

I told Alex, Alex and Carla yesterday. We were having a 'pretty day' at Alex's house *she popped my mascara cherry! She also said I'm not allowed to leave. I have no choice* so it came out then, when Charlotte K was getting a wisdom tooth pulled *owwwww!* They were really positive about it, although "Is that why you're wearing a granny top?" isn't the best thing you can imagine hearing. Alex was like 'of all the people to get pregnant, I wouldn't've thought it'd be you'. Thanks hun. I said I would bring the baby in to meet everyone, which I do intend to do but no way in hell is my child putting that shit in it's body. But it was a nice reaction, better than the ones I'm expecting to get from the guys. Alex said she has to be there when Karla finds out ... I can't wait for it either, or for her reaction if Les does get demoted - because he's going to leave. It's bad enough watching her dry-hump Steve's leg when she thinks I'm not looking/not there, but the other day she grabs Les from behind and rubs against him and starts going 'isn't Les like a big squishy bear?' *yah, Laura's big squashy bear, you leave her man the fuck alone too, whore* Anyway, I can't wait for her 'two favourite people' to become soooooo detached from her. They are anyway, the name Carla makes Steve feel sick, and Les is so bitchy about Karla, but to have her realise how far from her reach they are ... it'll make up for every time she's grabbed hold of Steve when she's not aware of me, every time she's fucked up and blamed one of us and complained against us. Sweeeeeet ... I'm with Alex. Might wait for a lull on a Friday night for it to come out. Will obviously be checking with Steve though. I miss him now he's only part time :(

There's other stuff, I'm sure. I'm not sure I want it all over this though.

I just ordered the Harry Potter chess magazine from deagostini. Heeheee! DD'd it. So I get to play chess Harry Potter stylee! I haven't played in ages, not since Jenny and me used to go to Ottakars in Lincoln and play on the third floor by the dalek and the sex books *memories*

I know I've not updated in centuries. I just can't get on. Lowdown of my past ... two weeks?:

-broke my tooth on a cheeseburger. Now have steam my buns. Yuck.
-had birthday. Should be getting my present from Meado tonight. If he stops being slightly prickish.
-finally filled in stuff for my LEA so they don't start taking money for my loan. Kinda wish they would.
-been shoved on lobby at work. My soul has died. I hate it, it's too monotonous. I try to waste time by filling the balloon tree when there's a few kids about. At least I get to annoy Alex though. She makes me laugh.
-Did I mention Chloe's play? That was weird. A ten year old and a 40 year old making out. Pensioners thinking they're the same age as Chloe. FREAKY.
-Went to Fays yesterday. Her house is so cool. Paul and Crystal came as well ... they had us in hysterics all night.
-Saw Caaaattyyyyyyyyyy! BTW Catty - thoughts on bitchface?

Um ... that's it! Until next time!

Your Birthdate: February 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights. You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice! Your strength: Your self sufficiency Your weakness: You despise authority Your power color: Maroon Your power symbol: Hammer Your power month: July

I felt like being lame. But I agree with some of that. And I'm bored. And out of it. And meh.

Ant: Long time no see!
Me: ... hiya!
Ant: So have you got a boyfriend yet?
Me: Yep
Ant: REALLY!?! *hey, what's that meant to mean?* How old is he?
Me: Uhhhh ... does that matter?
Ant: Kinda.
Me: He's 19.
Ant: Kinda young isn't he? How old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
Ant: 25*cue raised eyebrow*
Me: I'm 21
Ant: How long've you been with him then?
Me: 3 months
Ant: Don't want to upgrade do you?

Wow. He blanked me last time I served him on drive thru, ohhhhh, 4/5 months ago? He's really cute though. It's the 4th car I've seen him drive. But hey - he had his chance. And Meado couldn't escape, hahahaha! Liam kept saying similar things today as well, like 'sugarpants, dump the runt!' and 'when're you gonna dump Meado so I can screw your brains out?'

So ...nice.

Talked to Meado once I calmed down after work. Talked about management changes. Si didn't get a promotion. Nikki's probably going to be demoted because he failed his job. Moo and Dave are leaving. Lukas is taking on Moo's role. Luke, Meado and I think Liam are next in line for management. Luke's got it instantly from the way he interacts with SteveO. Meado has to out-perform 4 managers, even though he's got more experience of more areas than Luke. I've had 4 OCL's in the past two days, got 2 100%s, 1 97% and an 87% in them. I have about 3 more due? And need almost as many as Kim. As Kim's already training squad, and two training squad are taking over management roles, it's likely either me, Rob O, Laura or Leigh will get training squad. Buuuuut Laura's about 3 months pregnant, so that weakens her likelihood of being training squad. Although Rob got it instantly when he came back from the chip shop he worked in briefly.

I think that's all I want to say. I'm feeling sick again.

I could kill Chloe right now. I had to be up at 5am today for a 6.30 start. So I put on 10 years younger and had just about dropped off when she and mother start screaming at each other. So I don't fall asleep until midnight. So I had 5 hours of sleep. And had to take proplus. And drink loads of caffeine. Yey.

Stupid stomach's been playing up again. I ate wheeto's so I'd be good at work, and I got my break quarter to ten, and I was eating my egg muffin and felt like puking. And tried to stop it, and it made me cough. And the cough made me wanna puke. Not fun. I was well out of it when Kermit came in, and he looked like he was dead on his feet too. I waited for him through his break though, since he went on that 5 minutes after I clocked out for home. I missed him when Pete took all my hours away.

I'm going now. I'm knackered.